weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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