Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
