He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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