We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
