I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
