I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
