i just wanna soil my oats bro
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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