I wish i was in the wii world.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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