Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
