Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
