She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize