dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
