Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i barfeds in our rink
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
