I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
