just tell him i said nine months
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize