well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
