Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
A bitchslap is in order.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
