The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
