remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
