Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
