I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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