nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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