dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
