I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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