she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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