if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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