i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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