I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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