they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
