The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Randomize
