They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
