to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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