How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
