Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
