You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
