This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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