Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
