He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
