how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
