I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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