My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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