I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So much rum. So many feels.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
