It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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