we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
