Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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