btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
