i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Are we still banned from the library?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
