okay pat passed out under dana's car
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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