i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize