Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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