It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
