I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
