this just has baby written all over it
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Are we still banned from the library?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
