Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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