drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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