ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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