My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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