I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
