Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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