We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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