why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
